Sex in Your Dreams
Tony Crisp
Although sex is symbolised in many dreams, where it appears directly, it shows that the dreamer is able to more easily accept their sexual urges and hurts. What is then important is to attempt an understanding of what setting or drama the sexual element occur in. Our psychological and sexual nature, like our physical, never stand still in development unless a pain or problem freeze them at a particular level of maturity. Therefore, our sexual dreams, even if our sex life is satisfactory, show us what growth, what new challenge, is being met.
Example: ‘My lover was standing behind me, and John, my husband, was standing in front of me. I was asking John to have sex with me and at the same time thinking, ‘Oh, hell, if he does he will think we have something going between us’. I felt no flow towards John but felt somehow I was trying to tell my lover that I was desirable.’ Sally A.
Sally’s dream needs no interpretation. Such clear dreams show that Sally is ready to be directly aware of what she is doing in her relationships. If the sex in the dream is deeply symbolised, it suggests the dreamer is less willing to be aware of their motivations or connected painful feelings. Even though Sally’s dream was clear, it was still dealing with an area of her sexuality she was not clearly conscious of. If she had been aware, it is doubtful whether she would have dreamt it.
Chained up love
Example: ‘I was in a farmyard. A small boy climbed all over the bull. It became terribly angry. It had been chained without attention too long. Now it tore away and sought the cows. The gates were closed, but the bull smashed through the enclosing fence. I rushed to the fence and sat astride it, but on seeing that the bull smashed it like match wood, I looked around for some safe place. The bull charged the first cow to mount it, but so terrible was its energy and emotion that it could not express as sex. It smashed the cow aside as it had done the fence. Then it rushed the next and tossed it over its head, charging and smashing the next. I climbed into somebody’s garden, trying to get out of the district.’ Arthur J.
Although this dream depicts Arthur’s ‘chained’ sexual drive using the bull, it is still fairly obvious. If we consider the setting and plot of the dream, as suggested above, we see that Arthur is desperately trying to avoid responsibility for, or trying to escape, his own sexual drive - figuratively ‘sitting on the fence’.
Example: ‘My husband and I were walking down a road. We were going in the same direction together. I started to sing with a very happy feeling but then felt I should stop because he would say the happiness was because I had had sex. I sensed he knew what I was thinking as I walked along. He then quietly began to sing and the dream ended with me smiling to myself. We had sexual cut off for four weeks but had made love that afternoon.’ Joan W.
In talking about this dream Joan said she felt it slightly embarrassing to admit that sex gave her feelings of happiness. She liked to believe she was perfectly happy without it. It is probably out of the slight conflict between her conscious attitude and her feeling of well being after sex, that the dream was produced.
General information about sex in your dreams
Whenever a healthy man dreams, he experiences an erection, no matter what the subject of the dream. Women also experience such stimulus while dreaming.
While dreaming you can safely allow any form of sexual pleasure you desire. Don’t let the useful morals of waking life intrude into your dreams. If your sexual dreams are frustrating, or do not lead to deep pleasure, drop the fears and limiting attitudes that are blocking the full flow of your excitement.
Your longing for sexual partners that isn’t openly expressed, will attempt to become real in your dreams. It doesn’t mean that you are dissatisfied with your present partner if you have sex with other people in your dreams. All of us have such secret longings, and it is healthy for them to be allowed as we sleep.
Sometimes sexual pleasure is depicted in dreams as a tidal wave, or a snake, or something you may be resisting. This is because full sexual bliss floods the whole body, releasing tensions, bringing peace and a healing action physically and psychologically. To achieve this, learn to let go of rigid self control and be ready to be emotional.
Enjoying sexual pleasure with an animal, such as being kissed or licked by a cat, is the way dreams describe your own sexual urges at their most uncomplicated and basic level. It doesn’t mean you are weird. In such dreams you are dropping the complicated social rules that usually direct how you express yourself.
The energy behind the sexual drive is enormously important. It can flow in many different ways. It not only expresses as genital sex, but also in caring for others. If it is blocked illness can result. Your dreams show in detail just how you are dealing with this most important area of your life, and what is standing in the way of satisfaction and health. Do not accept the ready made formulas of popular sexual norms. Your dreams will show your own intimate and unique needs. Remember your dreams and be enriched by them.
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