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What I saw was that the Big Bang utterly shattered the existence of
what had been before. That ocean of energy and consciousness destroyed
itself so beings such as ourselves might exist. And then, as it died,
at the very last moments of its death, it shot out something to
penetrate all that was coming into being. It radiated love. It gave us
love as its parting gift so that if any beings got lost, if they were
troubled or overcome in their experience of growth, they could reach
out for that love and be helped. They could touch the love, the heart
and soul of which was self giving.
The death of that being also meant that every particle of the
universe and what has arisen out of its death is the very substance of
that great creative being and its act of self giving. There is nothing
in the universe that is not the body, the broken and fragmented body,
of that being. Every tiny fragment of our earth, of our bodies, of our
universe, is the essence of that being. Every tiny speck of the
universe is a seed that has the potential of that being within it.
There is nothing that is not that being and a seed of that being. The
potential to know that is within each of us. It is within each of us
to be that wonder. We can grow and realise we are the children of
that.
That is what I see as the beginning of things, the origin of our
universe and ourselves. But I was also shown that our corner, our
small part of the universe, has certain qualities that maybe other
parts do not. One of them, especially in regard to ourselves, is the
shortness of life. We are tiny, short lived, biological creatures that
have emerged out of the amazing processes of this world in its
interplay with the cosmos. We can see ourselves in one sense as little
bags of shit. We can be thought of as little digestive reproducing
bags. But because of that potential in us, there has always been a
possibility of more in human life. As this species we have managed to
emerge beyond the other living forms of this earth. We have developed
complex language and enormous curiosity and creativity. But the
shortness of our life is a big factor in our experience of ourselves.
I was shown that this shortness of life is really important for us.
This because an essential part of the mystery of the universe is
death. Therefore death is an enormous key to understanding the
universe and life. Understanding death means that we become capable of
letting go of ourselves, of delivering ourselves, of being able to
give ourselves away to the mystery underlying our existence. The
importance of this is because, if what has been said above is correct,
then death is at the very centre of the mystery of life. It is at the
foundation of our physical being. It is behind the urge that leads
parents to a sort of death in giving themselves to the new being that
emerges, to parents giving of themselves to their offspring. The sun
gives of itself as it is dying. Through its dying life can exist on
earth. This is part and parcel of the processes out of which our
universe has emerged.
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Chris: Need that concept
of death have the ideas of love attached to it?
Tony: No, but that is what
I felt. Maybe it is our definition of what we think of as love.
Also, I did understand that I was looking at, or experiencing what
arose, out of my own limited human awareness. The experience was
interpreted into my own human terms. All I have is my vocabulary
and my range of experience. But it did feel like a love beyond
what I could understand. It felt like an enormous self giving. |
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Chris: And that enormous self
giving in scientific or, physics terms, is what?
Tony: Well, we can look at
from all sorts of perspectives. I don't think any of them are false.
We can look at the universe in a purely analytical sense; we can look
at it from the point of view of an investigative science; we can look
at it from an artistic point of view; we can look at it as a chemical
or energetic event; we can look at it with the sense of awe or wonder;
we can look at it from the point of view of geometry or mathematics,
we can approach it or relate out of feelings of love.
Diagram of the dance Venus
and the Earth make during an eight year cycle.
(From
A Little Book of Coincidence by John Martineau.) |
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Some people who have a full grasp of, or an eye for mathematics
and geometry, explain our solar system in ways that are quite
incredible. They can demonstrate patterns and interrelationships
between the planets that are of such wonder, order and symmetry,
that it leaves us realising that an amazing art and wisdom is
embodied in every tiny aspect of the universe and ourselves.
So I believe that if we look as closely at the universe as
mathematicians have, we also find that embodied in every tiny part
of it is what I have called love. Taking an overall view of life
on earth and interrelationships of the species in the food chain,
it seems to me that life is constantly giving itself to itself in
that act of giving. |
So coming back to the theme of death in life, I do feel that this is
a huge lesson for us to learn as human beings. And something I didn't
say about that last enormous projection of love, the incredible
emanation in the death throes, is that I believe the human race met
that emanation of love very fully 2000 years ago. I want to say that
my experience of the radiated love in the death throes I can only
describe as being akin to a parent's feelings at their death, and
their doing all they can to care for their children in those last
moments. Almost like saying, "What can I leave with you to help
you?"
Our name in the West for that Comforter that was left is Christ. I
don't know if there was a historical Christ, because humans tend to
project outwardly what they sense inwardly. It is innate in us to give
an outer form to, or to see as something outside of ourselves, what we
sense within ourselves of any wonder. So I can see the possibility
that humans gave an outer form to what we call Christ. Just as we have
given an outer form to what we call the devil.
It is difficult for us to claim as a part of ourselves something of
such wonder. So we tend to put it outside of us so that it is not too
near. Then it doesn't make us feel small and baby like in our own
growth. We often cannot bear to see what we call the Christ as our own
personal potential that we are constantly crucifying, denying, and
washing our hands of. Nevertheless, we have that embodied in one of
our world religions.
Chris: Just one of our world
religions?
Tony: Well it is there in the
others, but often not as clearly stated. For instance the Indians call
it Krishna. And Christianity itself cannot be thought of as a
stand-alone religion. It emerged out of what had existed before it.
The area of the world in which it arose was a crossroads between East
and West, and Christianity in many ways appears to be a synthesis of
what existed before it.
Chris: When
you talk about Christ, because it is a term that has been
hijacked by people, what do you mean?
Tony: What do I mean? I have
defined it in various ways. I liken it to something we find in nature
-- for instance people have defined the human body in many different
ways. Also we can go on and on discovering more and more about any
aspect of nature. So I see Christ as no different to any other natural
phenomena.
To me, the Christ is a process in the universe that we've become
aware of. It is also a process in us, because we are shaped out of the
forces of the nature and the universe.
One could of course ask the question as to why, recognising that
human beings express love and it is a fundamental part of life, that
we do not simply call it human love. I believe the point is that the
love I'm talking about is far more than what we see in the
relationship between a man and woman or parents and their child or
between human beings in general. Much of human love is so interwoven
with pain, possessiveness, anxiety, childhood needs, jealousy and
fears of abandonment, that we cannot help but see the difference
between this cosmic love and what we presently know in our human
relationships.
Another way that I have defined the Christ is to call it the highest
possibility we have in us. In other words when we meet it we recognise
it as something beyond our present stage of growth; something that
perhaps we can reach to or grow towards. Because, when we meet the
Christ, it seems to be something far beyond ourselves, we tend to
project it outwardly and to see it as something outside of and
different to ourselves. We believe it to be an external being. What I
said about the original being leaving seeds of itself relates to this.
Our innate potential is something far beyond what we presently are
expressing. This potential is often represented in some form of symbol
or other, and Christ is one way we represent it. But Christ is simply
a name we give to something I felt was innate in the universe. It is a
name that unfortunately has become mired in a lot of dogma.
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The times I have met the Christ and communicated with it (and I
refrain from using the terms he or she here because I don't think
they are appropriate), I always have this paradoxical feeling that
what I meet is far beyond me -- yet it is also myself. Sometimes
this being is felt to be so far beyond me that I simply fall down
on my knees before it in awe. So in this sense we can think of any
meeting with Christ as a confrontation with our own amazing
possibility, our own potential. Any communication that occurs is
therefore a dialogue between what we are at the moment and what we
can become. |
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Christ of the Andes |
Some people have been capable of allowing that amazing potential
within them to express in some measure through their everyday life.
Then we see them as a holy being, or a saint.
As I explained, this sense of the Christ connects with the beginning
of things, where that amazing creative death set the scene for the
possibility of other beings to emerge. In Genesis the words used and
put into the mouth of the Creator are, "Let us make them in our
own image." And so this potential carries with it the image of
the Creator. Therefore the meeting with Christ is the meeting with the
possibility that was given us in the beginning.
I believe that the human race met this potential, this Christ, very
fully about 2000 years ago. But of course there are other older
religions that also in some way embodied a similar principle by
different names, as in India in the use of the name Krishna. |
