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The dream images representing father are many: God; a god; a giant;
a tyrant; executioner; devil; Pan; older man; male leader figure; the
sun; an older male rival; a holy man or priest; a dominating boss;
wise old man; the sun; a bull - and of course father. A child is,
figuratively, like a growing plant. It takes in lumps of external
material and transforms them into its own being. A child unconsciously
either takes father or mother as its main model for structuring its
behaviour and aims. But also, huge areas of our basic identity revolve
around mother and father. The absence of an available father in the
life of a child leaves an enormous imprint in the developing psyche,
just as much as the presence of the father. Our father in our dreams
therefore is most often the overall effect, habits, traits, that arise
from our experience - or lack of it - of our father. Our father is the
great figure of original authority and strength in our life - or lack
of it. He is therefore a focus of our relationship with outside
authority or power, the world outside the home and family. But there
is also a cultural representation of what a father is, and each nation
has particular ways of representing this. During our growth, and
continuing throughout adulthood, we are confronted with literary,
artistic, film and drama representations of the role of father. These
also form a powerful part of our inner father. These, along with the
deeply inbuilt expectations at an almost biological level, of what our
father is or should be, form our internal male parent, and in
synthesis form the father archetype..
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The description of God given by religion is quite a good example
and definition of the father archetype. God is described as the
creator, but also the great authority on how to behave, and a
judge on whether one has lived well or badly. God might be very
loving or vengeful. God is also full of wisdom and knowledge. It
is helpful to use this God image in understanding what the
influence of the father archetype has in ones life. For instance a
sense of failure can arise through never arriving at a conviction
of having satisfied or got signs of praise or recognition from
ones father/God.
Therefore the father archetype is about partly about how we feel
about being capable, productive and creative in the outer world.
It is about protectiveness and strength, about know-how and
knowledge of the world. The father image at its best is about the
willingness to stand against the world for the child, and to be a
bulwark against difficulties, a shelter we know is always there in
need. The following example gives some idea of this in the life of
the child. |
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After I had left my wife and the divorce was through I still
visited my children almost daily. Often I would do things in the
house that needed repair. One day I was standing on a chair fixing a
light fitting and I had an insistent feeling that my children were
watching me. It wasn't that they were standing observing what I was
doing, though there was a little of that. It was something else, and
when I allowed this intuitive feeling to surface it was like a small
revelation. I was led to see that when I came through the front door
into the house I brought an atmosphere with me. Also I had come into
the house from the world, from work, from all the extremes of life
that were outside the home. And I realised or felt that a great deal
of child speculation, in an unconscious way is, “What is it
like out there in the adult world? How will I get on in it? Will I
survive if I go out alone as I grow?”
So if I came in the door cowed by the difficulties of life I was
saying to my children “God its hard out there. It knocks me
down and I cant deal with it.” But if I come in buoyant and
smiling, then I am saying, “Hey, that was interesting. There is
so much to do out there that is fascinating and involving.” I
knew as the understanding arose that the confidence or lack of it my
children had in growing up and entering the adult world depended a
great deal on how they saw me come through that door. Because in me
they saw reflected what the world might do to them.
The negative father archetype involves domination, abuse of the
power and authority of fatherhood, and a cold intellectual example of
relationship. This negative image involves the use of the child or
those under his authority for the fathers own ends, rather than a
caring for the child's own inner needs. The absence of caring love is
a main feature of this. Entering into a sexual relationship with the
child is another huge negative.
The father archetype doesn't necessarily involve parenthood or
relationship with ones own children, but rather the leadership and
caring for the development and growth of people whether they are
family or not. In a personal sense it echoes what sense you have of
being supported or undermined by your background of life experience
and parents. So although it involves your parents, it is much wider
than that. For instance it also includes how you relate to your own
life process. Do you feel secure that life upholds you and supports,
or do you feel life is constantly a chaotic and meaningless accident
within which you can easily get fatally ill or killed? Does life
uphold or seek to destroy you? Or is life completely impersonal and
uncaring?
Struggle or seeking to placate father: May show
how we deal with authority or those we see as having power.
For a woman dreamer: Your relationship with the
father image is of enormous importance in the way you relate to men
and the satisfaction or otherwise achieved in such relationships, and
also how you deal with opportunity and life outside the home. Conflict
with the father can lead to feelings of not being lovable or capable
of love. It can also implicate you in a desire to go against family
and social principles and lead a life of rebellion - or certainly one
that is alternative. A great deal of anger and the urge to inflict
hurt or to criticise may be involved in this. See: animus under
archetypes.
For a male dreamer: The father image or process in
you determines how you meet and deal with other men and the world,
work, and opportunity. Conflict with the father figure can lead to a
continuing fight with or avoidance of any authority figure, and /or an
attempt to placate and gain the attention and perhaps love of a male,
especially older males or those in authority.
Our baby or child self has no restraints, and in its relationship
with father, at times feels urges which as an adult we might find hard
to believe or accept. In our dreams we frequently release these urges.
Therefore in dreams we might meet themes such as those below.
A difficult or unsatisfying relationship with father can be the
underlying urge toward homosexual relationships.
Killing father: This can be about the expression
of anger one felt as a child toward father. It is also a way of
getting rid of him so there is no competition for mother. Frequently
though it is about gaining your own ability to make decisions and be
independent. At some point we need to kill the father inside us to
claim whatever strength we can from our experience of him and become
independent. The death of the father in such dreams is like taking in
his spirit, not as a dominating exterior influence making it difficult
to make your own decisions and take your own direction, but as a
resource that is your own.
Sex with father: For the woman this is the
fulfillment of childhood desires to posses, own and be loved by
father. It might also be a sign of gaining power over a dominant and
uncaring father or father figure someone you needed loving support and
encouragement from and never received it. For a man it might express
the desire to receive the fathers love. As a child sometimes one is
ready to do anything to gain this love. And this childhood and
tremendous need may underlie the different types of homosexual urges.
The father may not easily have shown his love, so the child becomes
desperate to receive it. Such love is as important to ones emotional
and intellectual growth as food is to the growth of ones body. So the
homosexual act can either be an attempt to get that love, or a way of
gaining power over the male/father.
Burying father: This is most likely the same as
killing him. Facing his death leads to meeting ones own independence.
See: animus under archetypes; father under family and relationships.
Useful questions are:
Can I locate and define my internal father? (Try writing down what
the various factors of your relationship with your father were, and
how they link with your present self and activities and needs.)
Am I still struggling with my father or trying to gain his love or
praise?
Do I feel that life itself the underlying creative process of the
universe supports or undermines me?
In what way does the relationship with my inner father influence the
way I relate to others in a caring, authority or supportive role? |
